It is safe to say that I am finally me again. 2010 was a hormonal roller coaster. Really in all seriousness, it was. Up one day and down the next. Having a miscarriage in the spring, Easter time actually, then getting pregnant again right after. Having a wonderful pregnancy to the post pregnancy time, I can honestly say that the brain is finally synapsing and the hormones have calmed down. (Steve will agree with that.)
It is or was frustrating is not being able to put a sentence together, go to speak and the words just aren't there, walking into rooms and you don't even know why you are in there. Really it gives you a strange sense of what being insane might be like.
Let's not even get started about what physically happens to your body when you do get pregnant and when it is all over. I will say this though, in the last several days it has really hit me that this chapter of my life is over. No more will I get to experience the excitement of a positive pregnancy stick, the feels of the butterfly movements in the belly from the baby, the little kicks and hiccups while they are in there. The excitement of the birth and then holding that precious little one in my arms. Words can never fully express the joy of those moments. It makes me sad. Time goes by too fast.
Steve and I have 3 beautiful children and I love them. We have great times to look forward too and more milestones to cross, however, I can't help but think what it would be like to have one more. Oh well, I guess there is always adoption!!
Today as I sit here making doctors appointments and dental appointments and getting the schedules all worked out. Maybe there is something to be said for organization, clear thoughts, and being on top of all the little things going on. It's good to be me.
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